As I stood on the stage of a huge auditorium sharing my story with over two hundred people I plastered a huge smile on my face and mustered all of my energy to portray a strong powerful woman as I trembled on the inside holding back my tears. I couldn’t allow any of these people in the crowd to see the real me, to know that I was broken and dying inside. I didn’t want to give anyone a reason to doubt me or question my worth, because deep down I knew that I was worthless and didn’t belong on this platform teaching others to believe in themselves when I myself couldn’t find belief in my heart for myself.
“Everyday I would wake up and question my life and ask myself who’s life was I living.”
Everyday I would wake up and question my life and ask myself who’s life was I living. I would open my eyes to a man that laid next to me and the first words out of his mouth each morning was “I love you babe”. I had three children that called me mommy and knew that they were safe in this world because I was their mommy and I would protect them with my life. I didn’t deserve this life and I couldn’t allow myself to fully embrace it because this life couldn’t possibly be mine. I believed that I was a terrible person, an imposter and I hated myself for it. But this was my life and I had to begin to allow myself to begin to heal the deep wounds that festered inside of me and begin to love the person that I had become. All of the trauma that I endured were for a reason and it was time for me to stop denying them and running from them and begin to learn from them.
If you read the words above and could relate to them or felt as though I was writing about you then please keep reading. It is time for you to take a breath and evaluate the person that is hiding inside of you. The broken soul that is crying out for help. You need to allow yourself to take the smile off of your face and remove the mask that you are hiding behind and become the true you. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, allow yourself to look at the pain and trauma and look through that pain to find the lesson you may have missed through all the muck and mud.
“You have been programmed to question your worth and value.”
As I took a step back and began to look at the pain that I had endured, the people that had hurt me and the losses I had in my past I began to cherish it. I learned that I am the strong, powerful woman I am today because of all of it. You are the person that you are today because you were molded and shaped through the pain and experiences you have lived through. You have been programmed to question your worth and value. You have the choice to reprogram the thoughts and beliefs you have adopted. You don’t have to be the person that you believe that you are today. You can choose to become someone new, to become the person you wish you could be. Most likely the person is already inside of you and you just need to polish her and carve her out.
Tools that you can use to do this are talk therapy, meditation, energy healing, coaching, essential oils, or crystals. I have used these tools to find my truth and allow myself to embrace hope again. I have found my strength that was hidden inside of me. I have overcome illness, the loss of my daughter, beatings at the hands of a lover, I have sifted through childhood beliefs that I am worthless and will never be enough for this world. I took the time needed and used the tools that I collected in my toolbox to not just believe in myself but to make it my life’s mission to help others believe in themselves as well.
“You deserve to love yourself and value yourself.”
If you are ready to take your life into your own hands and re-write your script, shedding the skin from your past and stepping into your purpose don’t wait another second. Contact me today and let’s get started filling up your toolbox, writing your own beliefs and not those handed down to you and healing the trauma that is holding you back from living your best life. You deserve to love yourself and value yourself. If you don’t, no one else will. Rise up like a phoenix and embrace the beautiful creature that you are.
If you would like to learn more visit my website at tinaencarnacion.com