Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt unheard and unappreciated?
Communication can be very difficult, especially when there are underlying limiting beliefs and negative self-talk. Many times, we tend to assume the outcome of the situation and have the conversations in our heads by ourselves instead of reaching out to the others involved. We think we know what will be said or what actions the other person will take. People can surprise you and validate your feelings when you yourself don’t feel validated to have those feelings. Communication is key in every relationship. Without it, the relationship will die. The other people in the relationship can’t read your mind so don’t expect them too. A simple conversation can calm a storm and put out a fire.
“We think we know what will be said or what actions the other person will take.”
Another thing that happens many times in relationships is that we set expectations on the other parties involved. We have goals for them, visions, and expectations. We may communicate these “requirements” to them, we may not, but we still hold them accountable all the same. You can not hold animosity against someone for not meeting your expectations because you are holding them to an unrealistic expectation. They do not desire to reach your goals; they are working toward their own. By requiring someone to change who they are as a person, or what they do, you are not accepting that person entirely and you will eventually grow resentful. When being in a relationship you must realize that you can’t change that person, and if there is something that you can’t get over or move past, that they say or do, then talk to them about it. If they don’t have the desire to change then move on.
“If they don’t have the desire to change then move on.”
Many relationships fail because we view the other person as a challenge. How can we mold them and shape them into what we want them to be in our heads. We try and try and force them into holding the shape that we are forming them into but the changes don’t hold. We then start to grow frustrated and angry and try again. Some of the changes may stick but again the person goes back to their original form. We try and try and then eventually decide to stay and be miserable, or we make the other person so frustrated they walk away, or we just give up ourselves and throw in the towel.
View the previous post in the Reflections Series, “Daily Routines”
View the next post in the Reflections Series, “Being Passionate”
From the book “Stuck in the Fire” By Christina Encarnacion
Get your copy here.
Stuck In The Fire is an interactive self-exploration book that pulls you in and allows you to be a part of the story. Christina shares her life experiences with you that have taught her how to navigate through this life on earth. She allows you into the halls of her heart and lets you learn through her own struggles of illness, loss, abuse and emotional turmoil so that you may be able to find strength, hope and understanding of why we must endure the pains of this world. She guides you through uncovering your own personal power that may be hiding inside of you and coaches you into harnessing it and fulfilling your life’s purpose.